I think there is a very real sense that the more my body is healthy, the more my prayer life is as well. Jesus asked the disciples to pray -- and they fall asleep. When he returns, he doesn't tell them they are not "spiritual" or that they don't love God -- he says, "The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak." There is this sense that prayer is a physical work.

I think one reason I don't enjoy extended times of prayer -- or that it is a lot of work -- is that any discipline practiced over the long haul is work. So I often combine the two: I started praying when I bike. Praying on the tread mill. etc. I've always strugged with my weight, but this makes it more of a discipline and less of a diet. And prayer more of a diet and less of a discipline (if that makes any sense.)

Mike, I struggle with this too. I think I need start by turning off all electronic distractions (T.V., computer, radio, etc.) since I am so used to having them on constantly when I am at home. I don't even know why I feel the need to have them on. I might be unconsciously sabotaging myself. If I start with silence I think I can begin to enter into prayer and communication with God. Also, I am so used to thinking I need to keep busy doing so called "productive" activities that stopping for prayer seems like slacking! But by constantly feeling like I need to be doing something might lead me to feel like I am the one who controls my course instead of God! I wonder what ideas others will have and how they incorporate prayer into their work day. I'll be interested to see!
Take care,
Sheila

I love to start prayer with worship, being still and letting yourself become amazed that you are in the presence of such Holiness. To worship Him for all that He is and all that He does. That will naturally give you a heart full of thanksgiving. I look so forward to my prayer time. I wake up half an hour earlier than I need to, because it's the ONLY way to start the day. That and a good cup of cofee!

I think Sheila says it well. It's so easy to get distracted.

I find myself in spontaneous prayer almost only when I've had some time for reflection w/o headphones or texting or conversation. The other time is when I see an urgent need or when I'm driven to emotion and don't know what to do with it.

I get the concept of the spiritual ADD, especially in this ay and age when it's go go go go all the time. It can be hard to quiet the busy-ness in your mind. I attended the women's retreat years ago and the speaker talked about different steps to prayer and one involved keeping a notebook for "to do" so that when those distracting thoughts pop in your head -i.e. I need to pick up toothpaste, we're almost out - you jot them down so you can move on with your prayer time and not dwell on the "to-do's".

I can not do "quiet time" prayer. My thoughts take me over of what I have to do that day. I pray through my worship. I have a 45 min. ride to work in the morning. I tend to listen to more worshipful songs that tend to be 10 mins long, with long instrumentals. Songs like Light of Your Face by Jesus Culture. I will start singing, then worshipping, surrendering, and in the long breaks, I sing or speak the prayers for my family, friends, situations,& myself. Before I clock in, I do my devotionals through book & websites& pray before the first phone call. On the way home, again, 45 to hour ride home, so same thing, pray through worship. I read a book that once since you need to make a date with God. So sometimes at night, I light my candles, and put on my other instrumental music like Enya, Yanni or Peace music, lay in the middle of the floor and just talk to God, praying, confessing, through meditation. Prayer through musical worship, brings the spirit & helps me open my heart to more of the things God is telling me or calling me to do.

I pray the scriptures. For me this means turning what I read in the Bible into a prayer. Also, I am a writer...I am fascinated by letter, words, sentences, etc. And so often when I pray, I write poetry. It is my "love thumbprint" to Christ. My "voice". I write about what I hear from God and I write about what I feel He is revealing to me. It is a poetic conversation/prayer. I also speak to Him as if He were my human Father. I didn't grow up with my Dad around and so I just pray to The Almighty in the way that I would have imagined conversations with my Dad to be like. I also ask God to speak to me in other ways (besides poetry) in which He uniquely made me. Being excited about prayer, to me anyway, is even more exciting when you discover how Christ actually taught your spirit how to "speak". What's your Christ language? And learning that that "language" is like GOLD...because it is a connection to His heart...for you and for others. It is the conduit of His spoken love. Ahhhhhh, and then, of course, He will lead you to a new "language" just when you think you are comfortable with the old one! Growth!

I am creative...so I ask Him to speak to me in creative ways. And, then, I respond to what He has shown me.
And I take a lot of time to just listen. Listen and listen again. And, I feel like it is important for me to acknowledge His presence. With a smile to Him, just saying "I love you, Christ", etc. To me those are puzzle pieces to prayer as well. And, yes, there are times that I can't pray...it seems during those times that God is stirring up something in me, or imparting something, etc. So, normally I just try, as best that I can during these times, to listen. I have learned that this is okay...that this is a part of my prayer life.

I like the idea of keeping a pen and paper handy to jot things down so they don't distract the prayer time. The type of work that prayer requires does seem to be mostly a focus energy. Personally, when I'm alone with God, I find so many questions in my mind...ones I either feel I won't get answered or that I won't like the answer to. So, I tend to shy away. I am at the same time reminded of the ways I fail and how much I dislike many things about the age we live in. It creates a barrier to a lot of the communication I would like to have.
In the morning, I always cry out to God for strength to face the day and it's challenges. I ask Him to help me not bring shame to the gospel. As soon as everyone knows I'm awake, forget it. I can't seem to get any prayer in after that. enjoying the feeling of accomplishment makes me want to be a doer as well, but I suppose there is a balance. Music that carries an anointing really helps break through the barriers and connect with God.
I know that prayer works. Some things are answered before I've prayed them and others still haven't been answered. Honestly... some things I don't even pray about anymore. I suppose I need to pray as much or more than I used to. Truthfully...I guess I'm not entirely sure all the reasons I should pray. Being reminded of the reasons should help.

Knowing how to pray better can help. i.e. praying with Prayer Warriors that know how to pray. Also, an awesome book I read was "Prayer in Another Dimension" by pastor Sue Curran. It was used as the foundation of a 6 week course in Prayer I took at my last church. I always prayed like a little kid and these two examples helped me mature:) "some"..

I too struggle with focused prayer for long periods of time. I try to talk to God / Jesus throughout my day. I make an effort to involve Him in my daily activities, praying, praising and thanking Him. My husband and I also make sure we kneel to pray every night before we go to bed. For years I just prayed sitting or while in bed. I like to humble myself and kneel before Him in a position of submission. It feels good to sit at the feet of my Father and King!

to me, prayer is through spirit. sometimes it is me talking to the Lord, sometimes it meditating on his word, sometimes it is a song on k-love, sometimes it is a praise, request, question or a plead. but it always involves listening. i do that best in my garden. i have been called a 'misplaced hippy', a tree hugger and much more. i prefer to call myself a creation lover. god speaks to me through his creation in awesome, amazing ways. to watch how the plants grow and the animals survive cannot fail to have affect on a person's reelationship with God - God shows himself everywhere. I pray all day. Any time something comes to my mind that disturbs me or that i do not understand, i talk to God about it. if i am angry or hurt i talk to god about it. in my garden, i placed three large rocks to represent my kids - like building a memorial in the old testament. every time i walk by i am reminded to pray for my three children. sometimes, i even splurge and pour oil over them like in the olden days. i am not superstitious, but i think it is sweet and maybe god accepts it as an offering. in times that i need to focus for a while on prayer (like in the mornings), i prayer journal. being an ADD adult, i find this works best for me - and then i will read aloud what i wrote. i guess, in summary, i do not have a prayer 'time'; to me, prayer is a constant converstaion throughout the day with the only Truth i know.

I'm not sure what is the right answer to share.. i can only tell you what helps me... I've been reading c.s. lewis's "mere Christianity" and it just seems like every time i come across a new revelation about God and me... i thank Him for it and ask for more.. i guess i dont like the long extended time of prayer either.. but a good walk, book or fellowship with a close friend always brings me back to why i'm here.. (That and i have a huge problem with paying attention for a loong period of time! ...dang it T.V.:)

For so long I struggled with finding ways to make prayer more meaningful. Then God led me to The Creative Hour. The Creative Hour is an hour long communion that begins with prayer, meditative scripture, a list of 5 things I'm grateful for or a thank you card is written, and then a creative endeavor is pursued as God and I talk through the project. It's a prayer in motion. God knew my struggle, active and creative mindset, freeing me with this concept. The results are amazing, something only God could create! Now, everyday I look forward to The Creative Hour. It's a daily divine appointment with the creator of salvation, love, sunsets and ice- cream, the universe! Now I see, not only does prayer change things, it creates things.

I love to use the creativity the Lord inspires me with. When I started my last prayer journal, I filled it with pictures of people, places and events that are meaningful to me, and it reminds of the excitement of not just having the ability to be in communion with the Lord, but that I also have the privilege of praying for any given person.

I've also created a set of prayer cards with poetry that consists of messages that the Lord has given to me in a number of situations on the cover, a picture of the person for whom I'm praying and pages to journal my prayer times and recordings of what the Lord has done on the inside. It has been especially exciting to see the Lord working throughout situations through the journaling.

It's even more exciting, when it's been appropriate to give the cards to the people for whom I've prayed, and see them overcome with a feeling and look of awe at what He has done.

So for me, it's a combination of reading His Word to listen, using my love of writing to journal, the chance to use my creativity by taking the time to make the cards in which I'll be praying and the times He allows me to use those journals to testify to His goodness.

It can be hard at times to not allow the distractions of life to disrupt that communion time, but choosing to make the time and experiencing the reward of experiencing true relationship with a loving, caring, and guiding Father is worth the effort!

I keep a prayer journal.....I used to think that meant just writing the items and people I prayed for, but after hearing a sermon on prayer journaling....that the guest speaker said where at least once a day you write a prayer out.... an honest, candid, letter or even a back and forth discussion with God,..... I was incredibly skeptical but really intrigued after his wife and he shared some of their intimate conversations with God........ when I tried it, It brought me a closeness with God that I never dreamed was possible. I thought I was in relationship, and I was not. I was following the rules, going to church, and reading the bible....but I wasn't in a real intimate relationship with God. If someone would have told me last spring that in the next year that I would fall in Love with God, I would have just....ok, ........but I was, in your words.....lukewarm. I had no idea what I was missing. I know that my prayer journal, and time talking with God daily has changed my life, I really don't know how I lived with out it so long, I had no clue what I was missing!

Well, I have to get up early in order to have the time to spend in prayer and in meditation. I have learned to journal as if writing my journal directly to God, because of how my mind wonders off so much. I also have made it a habit to stop and pray whenever it is needed, like if someone needs a prayer, instead of walking away, and then forgetting, i will stop what i am doing and say a prayer. I really cherish this time, because after this quiet time, the rest of the day is hectic, so this time with the Lord helps me "put on his armor" in order to make it through the day sometimes!!!

As a young girl in Catholic school, I was told at night to put my shoes far under my bed. In the morning when I reached under my bed I would already be on my knees and would be in the position to pray. Though I no longer put my shoes under my bed to remind me, I find kneeling the best postion to really dialog with the Lord and often hear Him speak to me.

Try the book
Prayer Practices for Terrifically Busy People - covers how to for those who have trouble slowing down!

After becoming unfocused in my prayer life, I began to meditate on the Lord's prayer. It has helped me focus on what God's will is for me not only personally but globally.

Our pastor at our church in Boston had recommended praying the daily office awhile back when he was preaching on prayer. I was utilizing it for awhile before work and it was great for something different. It was comprised of: silence and centering, opening prayer, old and new testament readings, and a concluding prayer. Then it closed with prayer for the church, yourself, and others. Wikipedia has a nice description of the daily office and I'm sure the prayers can be found online.

One of the ways I make prayer meaningful is to visit the prayer labyrinth downtown near the Premiere Health Center. Labyrinths are ancient prayer/meditation tools that replaced pilgrimages when they became impossible or dangerous. This particular one overlooks the river and the cityscape. Pretty cool place to walk, pray, and meditate.

I find trouble when prayer doesn’t include legitimate core purpose.

Matthew 6:8 says” your father knows what you need before you ask him.”

I should pray more but I always know when mine are for selfish reasons and thus not rich and meaningful…

Let’s pray for each other.

One of the most powerful books that I have read recently is the new piece on Bonnhoeffer by Eric Metaxas - it is published by Nelson - wish that Eric could come to Dayton -
here is my email to him and his response
Dear Betty,
Thanks so much for your kind note. What an extraordinary thing that you should have known Franz Hildebrandt. How I would have loved to meet him! I am thrilled you have enjoyed the Bonhoeffer book and glad you are recommending it to others. Thank you so much for being in touch. God bless you, dear sister. Eric Metaxas

Mike and the people of your family of faith are deep in my care and support - Betty


Betty Darst () wrote:
You have written this biography so powerfully I could not put it down. I knew
Franz Hildebrandt - he was at Drew in the early 60's - he was quite a pastor to
the seminarians - wish I had been further along in my understanding to have
appreciated him. He would stop by our apartment in a long black coat and looking
a bit gray - but we immediately felt his caring. I am recommending your
Bonhoeffer to my network and will present it as a gift to the Jesuit Retreat
House later this month. Keep changing the world. Betty

I apologize for being late in sending this, I realize you are onto a new subject but I was reading through this little devotional book yesterday and the first part of one particular devotional reminded me of your post. It was called "In Due Season" and it starts out by quoting Galatians 6:9 "And let us not grow weary while doing good. For in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart". The author continues...God has given you a word, but if you're like me, over time you've become worn down. You've begun losing your patience. You're thinking, "Lord, I can't wait any longer." You've become a little frustrated with God. But be careful, there's great danger in becoming impatient with God. God has designed a destiny for you. He has directed your path towards it. Your steps have been created and designed for you alone, and he alone can direct them. The author was Darlene McCarty. A few days before that I was reading Joyce Meyers and she also seemed to be writing on the same subject of sorts, she said, God places dreams and visions in the hearts of His people; they begin as little "seeds". Just as a woman has a seed planted into her womb when she becomes pregnant, so we become "pregnant," so to speak, with the things God speaks and promises. During the "pregnancy", Satan works hard to try and get us to "abort" our dreams.

Well my husband and I will be married 10 yrs in October and have been together 17yrs since high school. I will say that with the ups and downs the one thing that has to stay constant is communication. Whether its talking over a disagreement or just making time with each other and having fun, we must talk. We have been growing closer to Christ which has also brought our relationship closer as well. I think in these days of busy times with work, children and activities its easy to stop communicating with each other. But you must make a conscious effort to take time with each other to talk. Too many times do people take a backseat after getting married and forget that marriage takes work and commitment to each other.

My first marriage we did drift apart. Now I have remarried again and we set some parameters. We do not have a tv in the bed room. We sit next to each other at a resturant we do not face each other. An no cell phones at dinner we leave them in the car. We read the Bible daily, pray on our knees together nightly as I hold her hand. We take turns praying. We go to Bible study together and go on mission trips together. I open the car door for her. Men must love and take care of their wifes and be the spiritual leader of the home. God has to be your foundation.

Two very simple things I try to do to stay connected in marriage and they seem to work:

1. Every day, I do a 'surprise' affection moment. It might be a hug from behind while she is cooking supper. It might be a kiss on the forehead as she lies in bed before I go to work. It might be a sudden grab of her hand in the car. I try not to do the same thing with regular timing.

2. I listen to her and affirm her feelings, even though I might think she is being unreasonable. Even though I might think her feelings are unreasonable at the moment, they are real to her and I listen to them and try to affirm her as a person. If I am busy at the moment, I will schedule a time by saying, "Honey, I can't talk about it now, how about bring it up before we go to be tonight?"

We've been married 21 years now and she hasn't gotten to the point where she wants to leave or kill me, so something must be right!

My wife and I are both remarried. We both learned a lot of lessons from our previous marriages. Everyday I look at her the same way I did the day we married. Our passion as well as our faith continues to grow. We will be married 1 year this August. Though our marriage is still new, it feels so much more comfortable than my previous marriage. My wife appreciates me as I appreciate her. She laughs at my silly humor, which is saying a lot, because I have a very silly sense of humor. Everyday is a new day, with the same passion as the very first day.

Before people enter into marriage and continually throughout marriage, we need to understand that marriage is about commitment, not about your feelings at any one moment. We all have times when we feel we love our spouses more than almost anything, and times when we don't feel that way. If couples realize it's the commitment to one another that matters most, the good times are sweeter and more meaningful and the bad times, well, you get through them and move on and grow... together.

A good relationship takes hard work, commitment and most importantly forgiveness and unconditional love. It is a shared responsibility! A good friend reminded Reed and I yesterday that the "land mines" will come, to expect them but know that the redemption comes afterwards. And that is when the beauty and God's love is evident in the marriage, it is when you can substain the injuries and go forward, and both of you are better for it.
Congratulations Mike and Carolyn, I love you guys, and you both are an inspiration. Thank you for sharing with all of us about your difficulties in your marriage. God is sooo good!

A couple years ago, I needed a wake-up call. Then you had that series about desperate households. Wow - a difference it did make and I thank you both for that.
Congratulations on your anniversary.
As she approached before our vows, a promise was made to Him never to leave; not speaking about the public exchange. Silently, I gave my word to Him and that was that. My commitment will keep us together forever. Our marriage is not all me. However, I wanted to be held to account that our union not fail.

I hated to hear about Al and Tipper as well. After forty years?

My husband and I simply spend time together. It's the same with God, and anything else in life. What we spend time and focus on, and the amount of time we devote to it, that's what is and becomes important. I try to see problems and challenges as opportunities rather than obstacles..it helps. I'm the more selfish of the two of us so, I have to make greater efforts in our relationship it seems. My husband's love for me seems to come more easily and naturally for him. My counselor said there are varied reasons for that including personality and temperament, but that improvement is always possible. Things go better for us when I take the time to ask my husband how he feels and thinks about situaions. Being alone sometimes is good, but having a companion is definitely the way to go:)

My husband and I have been married 10 years, together 15 years. I honestly do not have any "earthly" secret or trick for keeping a marriage intact. My husband is of the world. He doesn't go to church, doesn't read the bible, enjoys smoking pot and all the things of the world. On the other hand, I go to church, bible study, starting to minister, and I love the Lord. He is my foundation.
What I do know, is that as I continue to follow Jesus, that God has truly turned the heart of my husband towards me. My husband adores me. My husband waits on me every second he can. He strokes my hair at night until I fall asleep. My husband is faithful to me not just physically but emotionally. He truly is crazy about me.
This is not a coincidence, not luck. I know God loves me. Jesus said we only have one need - him. As I continue to follow him, to search the bible, God has met the desires or my heart and continued to perfect my husband for me.

I love my husband. We have fun together. Of course I would love for my husband to go to church with me. But I don't pray for God to "fix" or change my husband anymore. I ask God to fix ME. Perfect ME so I can minister life to my husband, perfect ME so I might deliver my husband from his bondages. As well as others.

So in the meantime, I wait on the Lord, praise the Lord and thank the Lord for his mercy. My marriage is intact and totally enjoyable by the grace and mercy of my living God. Not by anything I did.

God first forgave us. Forgive your significant other for all their shortcomings.

That reminds me of the sick joke about the old couple who went to a lawyer seeking a divorce.
The lawyer asked them how long they had been married.
They replied, "75 years."
The lawyer asked, "After 75 years, why do you want a divorce?"
Their reply: "We wanted to wait until the kids were dead."
Hey, I TOLD you it was sick.

In 1994 our youngest son was diagnosed with terminal cancer, some of my friends said , remember when so and so's child passed on, their marriage failed...I knew of several couples that their marriage ended after a tragedy of a child. Well, I was determined when our son passed on into Heaven we would not let it end our marriage. During the three years before Shane passed on and especially the last ten months of his life (we lived with him and were his caretakers)there were times when Ron and I would lash out at each other and we would become frustrated but with many people from GUM praying and calling us to just talk and encourage us and with our "HEAVENLY FATHER" with us 24/7 we survived and in September of this year, we will be married 56 years.

My wife and I have been married for almost 16 years. Four kids, a couple ministry positions, a new church plant, and so many other things later ... the one thing we know above all else is that having a great marriage is all about INTENTIONALITY. So many simply expect marriage to happen naturally. It won't. It never does. It requires effort and intentionality. And in doing so we have found great joy, even though it hasn't been easy. But most of all we've learned what it means to be more like Jesus. Marriage moves us toward God and one another when we're intentional.

15 years ago today I married the love of my life. Nearly everything good in my life has resulted in some way from her. I can't imagine life without her.

I love you Dana and can't wait for the next 15.

Mike, Tom and I have been married 36 years coming up in October.We certainly have had our struggles throughout the years, but I realize, as I look back, it's a continual dying to yourself daily and trying to see your spouse through Jesus's eyes. Sometimes, that's not easy, as we all know humaness gets in the way.What's amazing is that as we are older now, we can see how those really tough times made us sronger and even more deeply committed. I think the answer is to keep praying, keep communicating, and learn to take the time to have fun times with each other. Now that we have grandchildren and can enjoy them so much, we are thankful that we didn't decide to run away from our problems, but to work through them and just keep on keepin on. There is nothing better than keeping your family together and being happy, and above all serving Jesus daily. Keep Him first in everything and it's amazing how everything else works out! God is so good-ALL THE TIME!

I found myself staring at a copy of the New Testament at the doctor's office while awaiting my appointment which I was actually late for, and as I picked up a "Reader's Digest" sitting next to it, I was reminded of this post. I was reminded of my own arrogance in the knowledge I felt I already possessed. Had I come so far that I didn't need the Bible anymore? Not that it's bad to read other things. I have simply seen a pattern in myself lately of not really wanting to read God's Word or spend too much time with Him. I'm always kind of put off by my surprise at the inverse correlation that takes place. The pride, and lack of sensitivity to the Spirit's direction so naturally takes the place of humility, and a willingness to hear God. When I add that to a lack of appropriate social skills, well...not a great picture.

Spiritually, I've just been kind of dragging lately. The focus is hard to keep, and the daily routine can become almost painful.

I understand the need to get away, especially for those serving in the brick and mortar full-time. So, be blessed in your travels.

I'm going to make a concerted effort to spend the needed time in prayer, meditation, and as much solitude as possible, and write down positive results to refer to in order to create a more consistent devotional life.

I appreciate the reminder. Not always easy to hear and do, but necessary:)

I don't really understand how taking unbiblical political stances relates to the partaking of one loaf...I speak primarily of those who have significant leadership, and who teach. The bible is clear that there are those among us who are not of us.

The post didn't specify what the issues of disagreement were, but biblically educated teachers of God's Word most definitely should not have longterm disagreements over essentials of the faith. If that's the case, then you should have another meeting. Leaders, while having the strength of leadership, tend also at times to have the weakness of self-will.

Being someone who has become cynical of the manifestations of capitialist ideologies, and yet not buying into the whole socialist agenda, I have found myself feeling a little at a loss for national identity at times. Learning to manifest Kingdom truths in this culture...well..period while simple, isn't without challenges.

I know everyone likes to think they're hearing from God, but from all that scriptures states, if there isn't a great level of agreement (more than just to agree to disagree) then some aren't listening and/or not hearing. I suppose that most times it takes a while for people to gain perspective.

And it comes down to people really knowing Christ, and overseers being qualified to teach and lead. We know not to judge, but to leave that to God. Just keep trying. You guys will get it worked out.

I have been a member of Gum since 1994. I recently moved to Georgia, these churches here divide every few years. Or I should say the members get mad at each other an start another church down the street. Satan wants us fighting amoung ourselves, then we lose focus on the enemy "satan". This just happened, my church in Georgia, our mens group meet once a week at a restaurant an another church also has their mens meeting at the same restaurant, they are talking about how we dress and act, you see my pastor wears jeans and tee shirts to preach in, he even got rid of the beautiful pulpit and has a rod iron stand. NOT IN THE SOUTH. The real kicker he just installed three video screens in the sanctuary. We should try to emulate Jesus's love for each other. United we can and will stand up against satan.

One of the great strengths of the church is that I can be in a room full of people who I differ with and who disagree with me and still call them brother and sister because we are all beloved children of God. We can love each other not because we all think or vote the same way but simply because Jesus loved us first. That's why, every Sunday at Fort McKinley, I end each service with these words, "I love you because Jesus loves you". Thank you Mike for your leadership as we wade through these complicated things called relationships.

Too often in the church we focus on that which divides us instead of that which unites us. Glad to see in this case that the people of God agreed in unity on the gospel message and mission while perhaps agreeing to disagree respectfully on personal convictions about methods or ancillary issues. Reminds me of the oft-quoted: "Unity in the essentials; Liberty in the non-essentials; Charity in all things." [ Ironically, based on my googling, most people can't seem to agree from where/whom that quote originated. :-) ]